I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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