You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize