i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
