last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize