please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
