I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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