I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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