at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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