Can Purell be used as lube?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
