It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Welp...herpes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We just shotgunned beers for America
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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