im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
