He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
