For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
