How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
