WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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