Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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