This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
