he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
