bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
