whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
