I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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