Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
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I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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