even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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