I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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