party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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