first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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