Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
