its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
