i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
