yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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