I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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