Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Damn victory sex feels great
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
