I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
did you just send me my own nude
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
