Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
