its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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