I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
