those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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