He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize