A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
