he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
