omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
