He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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