Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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