dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
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Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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