Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
