I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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