new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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