we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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