Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
