it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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