I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize