ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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