Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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