yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
