He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
