Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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