there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
