Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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