Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
