i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
