I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
