Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
