is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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