i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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