I'm lost and stupid without you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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