school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think your dad took our porno
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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