i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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