I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
