Just took my morning after pill in the library
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
