I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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